So, earlier today, I open up the door to my garage, flip the light on, and sitting in front of me is this gigantic rat-like thing. We both freeze and just stare at each other for like 5 seconds. I didn't know what the hell to do, so I shut the light off and closed the door, as if I didn't see anything at all.

So, I sit down on the computer and search around to identify the rat-like thing's species. I found out that it's a brazilian opossum. I guess these critters get into house and stuff when it's cold outside. I think he either got in the other day when I left my garage door open for like half the day or he could have gotten in through the ventilation system attached to my bitchin' solar panels.

At any rate, I want to catch him and get a picture of myself doing this.  So, I put on some gloves and went searching for him, but I couldn't find him. He's probably up in one of the car engines - that could be friggin' messy. I know he's still out there; I keep hearing bangs and shit getting knocked over. I guess opossums can be pretty vicious little bastards, so I might end up just shoeing him out with a broom.

He needs to go, though, the little bastard somehow pushed my MP3 player off of a table top, dropping it onto the concrete floor (it still works, thankfully) and, even worse, he left a nasty Opossum Dookie under my exercise bike. Gross, little dude, that's just gross.