"Time to die, bastard floor!", I shouted. The mayhem had begun.

My techniques were superior--the floor was no match for me.

"What up now, stupid bastard ceramic tile?", I yelled.

Silence ensued. Then, suddenly...

"You're a fool, Kevin; the joke is on you!"

Much to my surprise, the ceramic tile was not only bastardly but it could also talk back. It was taunting me. Bad idea, floor, my rage knows no bounds.

I continued to lace into the ceramic tile at breakneck speed. I victoriously threw its remains outside for the wolves to feed upon...

"You're done, ceramic tile - you've lost", I exclaimed as I walked around the glassy ceramic remains.

I strutted confidendly back inside."

What in the devil?"
"Wtf happened to my floor!"

The Tile had been concealing something far uglier and worse.... Linoleum.

Indeed, the joke was on me and I was a fool.