Today I went to Wal-Mart to buy some delicious Red Apples. I walk in and receive a furrowed brow from the grizzled old man of a store greeter. He tells me "Hello" in a raspy voice. Appreciate that, old man.

On to the Fruit Isle...

I grab a sack and load it with some friggin sweet apples.

Deliciously Delicious Red Apples!

Then, I go to grab a twisty tie for the bag... no twisty ties.

Blarg!

So I walk around to other fruit stands, looking for twisty ties...

Nothing!

So I head over to the vegetable section, thinking surely there would be twisty ties there.... Nope.

No Twisty Ties!

I was pretty frustrated over this whole lack of twisty-ties in Wal-Mart. What the hell is the deal with that? Is someone coming in and stealing all of them? Is there someone akin to the McDonald's Hamburgler except with Twisty-Ties?

Well, I did some research...

It turns out, yes there is! Check out this chart I compiled; it depicts the status of a random sampling of Wal-Mart shoppers at 10 P.M. on a random weekday night.

Results: 5% of all Wal-Mart shoppers are, in fact, bastardly Twisty Tie Thiefs.